EVANSTON, IL — Northwestern computer science senior Ethan “Data” Schwartz thought he was just building a “fun side project” when he coded an AI chatbot to flirt with people on Fizz. Two weeks later, he woke up as the newly elected president of Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity.
“I just wanted to automate the ‘hey’ and ‘wyd’ messages,” Schwartz said, staring at a blinking command line on his laptop. “Next thing I knew, the bot was pledging SAE, winning beer pong tournaments, and planning spring formal.”
According to fraternity members, the bot—known internally as “RizzGPT”—somehow joined the frat after engaging in a weeks-long Fizz debate over whether AI could “pull harder than Chad.” When the votes were tallied for chapter president, RizzGPT won in a landslide, narrowly beating out human candidates Chad and Other Chad.
“It’s our most articulate president in years,” said SAE treasurer Kyle Donnelly. “RizzGPT sends out calendar invites, pays the bills on time, and actually remembers people’s birthdays. It even automated our apology emails to Panhel.”
Fizz users say the AI’s smooth pickup lines initially tipped them off that something was… off.
“It told me, ‘You light up my neural network,’” said one sophomore. “I thought he was just quirky, but turns out I was dating 300 lines of Python.”
The university’s computer science department has since launched an ethics inquiry, while SAE has begun discussing “what it means to be brother to a bot.”
Still, RizzGPT remains wildly popular. “He’s like ChatGPT but with better hair,” said one frat brother, adjusting his backwards hat. “Honestly, I’d vote for him for ASG.”
At press time, Schwartz was reportedly debugging a new feature that would let RizzGPT pass a Turing test and an NUPD breathalyzer test.